


the taste of you (is an addiction)

by eirene_underthesun



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben is 17, Domestic Abuse (Not Reylo), F/M, Infidelity, Lactation, Lactation Kink, Mentions of Poe/Rey (He's her husband), Obsessive Ben, Pregnancy Discussion, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Rape/Non-con, rey is 25, teacher rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:06:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23727280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eirene_underthesun/pseuds/eirene_underthesun
Summary: Rey's back from maternity leave and Ben can't stop staring.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 342
Kudos: 673





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi hello, welcome. Can't wait for you to read this - I hope the build is OK and that the payoff is worth it. The entire fic is written, I'll be posting periodically every few days if I can help it, sooner if I get antsy. Enjoy!

The smell of the school is what hit her first, after three months away it was like being catapulted back in time. Her life had changed dramatically since she left for maternity leave in early December, but the school - it was the same, omnipresent and somewhat stifling.

And yet it was home - sometimes more so than her own, even now - as terrible as that sounded coming from a new mother.

It wasn't her new daughter, it was the life shift from married  _ couple  _ to  _ family  _ and nothing was the same in all the wrong ways.

But here, nothing had changed. The floors were still overly waxed, the lockers still clanged off the walls as they were closed, and it still had the musty smell of teenage masses that should be disgusting but instead comforted her.

Her desk was as clean and organized as it had been when she left, thanks to the woman who had stepped in to teach her senior classes.

Barely ten minutes into her reorientation a soft knock came through the door. Rey turned to see a tall, dark haired figure she would know anywhere - the lumbering form of Ben Solo. He had grown his hair out even more, she noted the soft wave it had now. Layers, she mused.

He shut the door and turned to her with a grin that should have made her uneasy, "Hey Mrs. Dameron."

Rey smiled, "I should have known you would be the first through the door."

It was an hour before first period would even begin, but Ben had often spent the mornings in her room studying for the decathlon even though she wasn't his coach anymore. However, she hadn't expected him to start back up again so soon - or at all really.

"I've been counting down the days until you got back, I think we all have," he took a few steps towards her, hand brushing easily through his hair.

"I'm sure Ms. Brite was wonderful," Rey pushed down the flits of wings in her stomach at his praise, remembering how easily it came to him. She had missed it.

"The guys certainly liked her," he smirked as he slid off his backpack and into the desk in the second row. "She was hot."

Rey rolled her eyes, adjusting the band of her wrap dress, unconsciously smoothing it down her still-too-soft stomach. "She was your teacher, that's inappropriate."

His eyes watched her as she moved back to her desk, organizing her lesson papers for the day and ignoring the memories of her futile attempts to get Poe to sleep with her again. Rey used to consider herself sexy, but pregnancy had worn her down - not the physical effects, but her husband's refusal to fuck her for half the entire pregnancy - and after - had taken its toll.

_ Disgusting,  _ had been his words the first night the stretch marks had appeared on her expanding stomach, making her curl in on herself. She had taken to wearing clothes to bed after years of sleeping naked.

Worse still was the ever-present hormone surges that left her nearly delirious. Having to sneak in masturbation sessions was not something she had been expecting from married life.

"Come on, Mrs. Dameron, it's just the truth. You saying you never had a hot teacher you were into?" His words were casual, but his voice deepened unexpectedly and she caught him staring at her ass as he spoke.

It wasn't the first time she had caught him staring at her. At first it seemed normal, a red-blooded teenage male recognizing his attraction, but it seemed to intensify as her pregnancy changed her body, making everything more round and soft in unexpected ways.

She was ashamed to admit that she had fucked herself more than once imagining his eyes on her as she came, the appreciation in them that so differed from her husband's. He had haunted her fantasies for over a year, well before she was pregnant - and his coach for the decathlon.

Avoiding his eyes as he watched her, she sighed and sat in her chair, "It might be natural to appreciate someone's appearance, but you shouldn't talk like that's all there was to her."

"She was also your teacher," she finished quietly, as if reminding herself of that fact.

He twisted around, sitting on top of his desk, feet in the chair, but she focused on reviewing the lesson for the day and ignored the way his hands fiddled with his phone. A nervous tick.

Rey cleared her throat, unable to stand the silence, "And no, I never had any interest in my teachers like that."

At that he seemed to drop it, shrugging nonchalantly as he went back to his phone.

The half hour before class sped by, filled with only intermittent casual conversation about the track and baseball team's season.

It was nothing she normally cared about outside of the students that took part - like Ben - but anything was better than remembering how casually he talked about finding the substitute for her class hot.

And trying to ignore the thought that he might have spoken about her that way at some point.

Before the pregnancy at least.

"I'm glad you're back, Mrs. Dameron," he eventually murmured before the door to her room opened and more boisterous teenagers filtered in, all echoing the same sentiment.

But as she watched the way he smiled, his head tilted back, hair falling away from him as he joked with his classmates, she knew that his was different.

First period ran smoothly, chatter about her baby and three months 'vacation' eventually drifting back to where she felt most comfortable: derivatives. She tried not to pay attention to the way Ben looked at her as he took notes, tracking his hand as he brushed through his hair; a nervous tick she realized she recognized after the almost two years spent teaching him in one form or another.

When the bell rang she let out a large exhale, smiling as she moved to the hallway, watching her students filter out. It was just another day for them, but for Rey it was a new beginning. Here she was free from  _ him. _

"See you tomorrow, Mrs. Dameron," the low voice made her jump, her hand pressing against the slight slip of skin still showing between her breasts. She had become a fan of wrap dresses after her pregnancy, all the mothers expounding the ease of use and comfort - and style. But she wasn't used to the increased size of her breasts still, full of milk and always sore in some way - too full, too something.

He watched her hand for a beat too long before turning away, accepting her silence; all she could muster up was a small smile.

* * *

It wasn't until lunch that she finally made her way back to her desk and noticed the small square box sitting on it, wrapped like a Christmas present.

Neatly done and light, she tore the paper off to reveal a jar of…moisturizer?

At the top of the box was a note in that uniquely elegant handwriting that no teenage boy should have. It was from Ben.

_ I thought you might need this. _

Rey flipped the box around and realized it wasn’t just fancy face moisturizer - but specifically designed for  _ nipples. _

It was breastfeeding cream. The thought made her blush, she had never thought about it, just used her usual moisturizer and figured that cracked and dry nipples were just another beauty of motherhood.

Organic, lanolin-free. Safe for direct breastfeeding and pumping.

It was something she wouldn't ever had expected from her  _ husband  _ much less a 17 year old boy. She could count the number of times Poe had even been around to feed their daughter, much less know about the state of her breasts because of it.

It was a completely inappropriate gift from a student - anyone male, really - but it was thoughtful and she wasted no time opening it. Dipping a finger into the cool mixture, she unlaced the top of her dress and unhooked her special nursing bra.

They called it a nursing bra, but really it was just a fancy word for front-clasping.

Rey hissed as her fingers spread the cream across her sore nipples, relief instantaneous after her midday pumping session. She could get used to this, she thought as she massaged it into both breasts, quietly thankful they were mostly empty of milk.

The last thing she needed was to leak through her dress at school - she had read the stories. It was going to happen, they said. No amount of bras and pads would help.

Gingerly she slipped her breasts back into her bra and tightened her dress back up, the cool cream acting as a barrier between her skin and the rough fabric.

She should thank him, but pushed the thought away entirely as she imagined bringing up the topic of breastfeeding with her student. That certainly would go over well with his parents.

But she slipped the jar into her purse, folding the note up as small as it could go before sliding it, too, into a small pouch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi https://twitter.com/eirene_fics


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the response to this fic makes me feel so much less alone, thank you!

A week later, things were completely normal. She dropped off her daughter at the daycare, cried in her car about it, then drove to school.

Ben was there before class every morning.

She didn't say anything about the present and he didn't ask, but her nipples felt almost back to normal and for the first time in nearly a year she felt like her old self.

She slowly worked her way back into her old wardrobe, asymmetric pant suits and jackets, but always a wrap blouse for pumping.

And every day she drove by the track field as she went home, a completely different direction than necessary. She told herself it was to support the team who waved as she drove by, but really it was for that one time - the first time - that she had seen a glimpse of dark hair and a boy taller than anyone out there.

Ben.

She was later than normal and Rey tried to push the sadness she felt down into her stomach, but as she pulled by she noticed that same boy standing next to a car too nice for a 17 year old, hood popped up.

Ben leaned against the side of the car, phone held up to his ear, but as she slowed to a stop behind his car, unable to stop herself, he abruptly hung up.

She barely stopped to think as she lowered the passenger window, holding her breath as he watched her, "Hey Ben, everything alright?"

Her voice seemed to pull him in and she marveled at the control she seemed to have over him, even after a year. She stared almost too intently at the shorts and tank top that left muscled skin on clear view for anyone. It made her swallow as he leaned down to look at her through the window.

"Fancy seeing you here, Mrs. Dameron," the words made her blush and his face seemed to sharpen in focus at her reaction. "Little late for practice."

Of course he knew. He knew that she drove by here every day, but maybe - maybe he didn't  _ know. _

"Not here for practice, just going home," her voice seemed higher than normal and she cut back on the nervous laugh that threatened in her throat. "What's wrong with the car?"

She nodded towards the black Charger and she expected him to follow her gaze, any normal person would, but his attention was entirely on her.

"Not too sure really, just wouldn't start after practice," he replied, shrugging as she frowned at him. Rey took a deep breath, contemplating her options; it wasn't as if he couldn't handle calling a tow truck on his own, but it had also been  _ so long- _

"Back away," her voice was curt and as he stepped away from the passenger door, she tried to ignore the disappointment in his eyes. But instead of pulling out of the parking lot like he expected, she did the very unexpected - for him - thing of pulling up beside the black car.

Turning off the ignition she slid out of the driver's seat and caught his bewildered stare, giving him a small smile.

"Let's look at what's going on, shall we, Mr. Solo?" Rey regretted the flirtatious tone almost immediately, but she was overjoyed at the opportunity to be under the hood of a car again.

She tried to remember her new cream colored top as she leaned over and stared into the dirty engine, but as soon as her fingers started tracing the tubing she forgot all about it. Ben stood quietly beside her, seemingly content to just watch her diagnose his car.

"Well, all the usual reasons seem to be in order - can you try to start it for me, so I can listen?" She dragged her eyes away from the battery case and swallowed hard as she realized how close he was to her. "Ben?"

His name seemed to snap him out of the trance he was in, his eyes moving from her chest to her face as he nodded, climbing into the front seat.

She recognized the sound that hit as soon as he turned the ignition, "Alright cut it, that's enough."

He poked his head out, dark hair almost brown in the sunlight, the once-perfectly tousled waves somewhat mashed together from the sweat of practice.

"It's your starter motor I think, not the battery," Rey smoothed back the wisps of hair that had escaped her buns as she waited for his reaction.

"How do you know this stuff?" He asked as he stepped out, slamming the door. Rey tracked him as he moved closer to her, a hunter after a rare gazelle.

"Oh, it doesn't matter," she waved it off, but inside her heart fluttered at the underlying wonderment. "You should call a garage, it'll need to be replaced."

He flipped his phone around in his palm over and over again, staring at her, until finally he decided, "I think I just want to go home for now. Deal with it tomorrow."

Rey turned abruptly, unlatching the hood and letting it slam close, trying to convince herself  _ not  _ to do the thing her body was telling her to do again.

"I could-"

She cut herself off before the ill-conceived words were out, but he had already latched on to them, taking a step closer, barely a foot away as she stared at the hood of his car. "Could what?"

She shifted under his gaze, feeling her nipples tightening in an unexpected way as she glanced at him. He watched her for minutes, refusing to let her go without answering, and Rey found herself almost relieved when she said, "I could drive you home."

The intense gaze released almost instantly, muscles in his face relaxing even as his biceps flexed, hand reaching out to lean on the hood closer towards her.

"I would be very grateful, Mrs. Dameron," he spoke slowly, the words making her shudder for some unknown reason.

He pushed off the car, grabbing his backpack and track bag while all she could do was watch and wonder what possessed her to do the very thing they always  _ told  _ them never to do. In any circumstance you were to never drive a student in anything other than a school vehicle, for school purpose, with a permission slip.

But here she was, inviting to drive a student home. Not just any student, but  _ Ben.  _ Hadn't she learned her lesson?

He turned towards her with an expectant look on his face, "You coming?"

Rey just smiled and pushed off the hood, unlocking the car and watching as he slid into the seat next to her, shoving his bag in between his legs.

_ Fuck. _

She really hadn't thought this through, noting the sweat that still clung to his skin after practice, giving his normally pallid skin a healthy glow.

But that was nothing compared to the proximity to the sheer amount of skin and muscles currently taunting her from the passenger seat.

Had he been this handsome three months ago? She couldn't remember - didn't want to think about it. He had grown in the two years since she had started coaching him, of course - he was a teenager - but the confidence, the muscles - those  _ had  _ to be new, right?

But she knew that it wasn't.

The click of his seatbelt drew her attention away from her thoughts and she shook her head, "What's your address, I'll put it in the navigation."

He didn't answer, just grabbed her phone and quickly typed it in without a word, handing it back to her with a smirk.

"Cars a little tight, Mrs. Dameron," he said as he tried to push the seat back as far as it could go. "Not like my charger."

He threw a wolfish grin at her as he added, "Plenty of room in the front  _ and  _ back seats."

Rey swallowed at his heavy handed implication and cursed herself for wondering exactly how he knew that.

She knew, of course she did, he was a boy with a muscled body and raging hormones. And though she tried not to listen to them, the teachers were  _ very  _ aware of student rumors - including ones about Ben Solo.

He was taking every advantage of his youth, she mused sullenly. Not like her, who had attached herself to the first person who had shown her any attention even if he wasn't very nice.

"You will arrive at your destination in 29 minutes," the navigation chimed from her phone and Rey looked over at Ben, alarmed.

"Does it normally take you that long to get home?"

Ben shrugged, "We live on the old Organa property, district lines and all of that."

Rey took a deep breath, not expecting to have to be trapped in a small car with him for half an hour.

It was quiet for a while, but she was aware of his eyes on her, body turned towards her almost entirely, broad shoulders blocking most of the passenger window.

"You got your shirt dirty, Mrs. Dameron," he pointed out eventually.

"That happens when you work on cars."

"I think you're leaking, too," the calm with which he delivered the statement was at direct odds to her mortifying surprise, swerving the car slightly as she looked down. Sure enough, two big wet stains circled her clothed nipples, making her groan involuntarily.

"Sorry about this, can't be helped really," her cheeks were flushed with color, but he didn't seem to be phased. It wasn't time to feed, she had just pumped,  _ why was this happening now? _

"I like that you're breastfeeding. It's good for the baby," Ben replied. "I know it's hard for women. My mother never bothered with me, barely home even then."

The words were sad, but were said with a cool detachment that made it even worse. As if he had gotten used to it. Rey knew what it was like to feel abandoned.

Without thinking, she reached over and took his hand in hers, squeezing it as she kept her eyes on the road.

"So how do you know about cars?"

"Used to work in a garage with my foster father," she rolled with the topic change easily, trying to ignore the way both of his hands squeezed hers, pulling it into his lap. "I was going to college to be an engineer, design engines and stuff."

Another hard squeeze, "Why didn't you?"

Rey glanced over at her student, unsure whether to answer; it was personal. But he had been so gracious about her breastmilk mishap, she answered honestly, "My husband, Poe, didn't think it was a proper career for me. I switched to education."

"Lucky me, then," Ben gripped her hand hard, thumb skimming the top of it as he spoke. "He shouldn't have done that to you. He's just weak."

Rey ripped her hand away from him, annoyed, "You don't know anything about my husband, nor should you be making judgments on our marriage."

A loud huff accompanied the brush of hands through his hair as he pressed against the seat, hands flexing over his bare thighs. She tried not to watch how his muscles bunched and twisted through all of this, swallowing her indignation at his statements about her husband.

"So, how's the decathlon team this year?" She was desperate for a safe, sane topic and asking about the activity they both had shared until her pregnancy was as safe as she could get.

He shrugged, "Not as good as last year, but I lost interest to be honest."

"Ah," she grinned. "The famous senioritis. Got into a fancy college and now it's just time to coast."

"No, it's not that," he lowered his voice as he looked at her. "It just wasn't the same without you. Also, Ms. Penny is annoying as fuck."

"What did I tell you about being appropriate towards your teachers?" Rey snapped and immediately blushed as she recalled the context of her admonishment a week before.

"Well its fucking true, I almost quit when you didn't come back," he confessed quietly.

Suddenly that safe topic didn't feel very safe and resolved to spend the last ten minutes of the drive in quiet contemplation. Ben seemed to agree, but his eyes never left her face. Every time she glanced over to check, his eyes met hers. It should have made her nervous, but it instead made her warm.

The last minute he guided her to the gate, her stomach twisting at the clear sign of wealth - she couldn't even  _ see  _ the house it was so far away from the road. He gave her the code, brushing off her joke about needing to create a new one to keep the riff-raff like her out.

She pulled up to the empty circular driveway, turning towards him expectantly, "Don't forget to call the mechanic and get a tow."

He stared at her before a slow grin grew on his face.

"What?" She shifted around, looking down at her shirt, hoping the wet stains had dried suitably. "Do I have something on my face?"

Ben licked his thumb and rubbed it against her temple lightly, almost massaging it, causing her to lean into the feeling.

"You're really beautiful, you know," he spoke openly, palm coming to rest against her cheek even as she tried to pull away.

"That's inappropriate of you to say,  _ again,  _ Ben," Rey's voice was weak as she tried to reject the compliment.

He raised his eyebrows expectantly, ignoring her previous statement, and she folded.

"But thank you," she whispered.

Ben hummed, dark eyes following his fingers as he traced her lips, "It's true. I read that after pregnancy women don't feel as confident."

_ Why was he reading so much about pregnancy?  _ She was scared to ask, but his thumb swiped across her lips and all of her cognitive ability went to convincing herself  _ not  _ to dart her tongue out to taste his skin.

"And I thought I should tell you," he continued murmuring, leaning closer to her lips. "In case you weren't sure."

Rey pulled away abruptly, causing the horn to blare, making them both jump. She was relieved when he moved back, but not before staring at the two spots on her blouse. It had happened again.

"You know," he said casually as he opened the door and grabbed his bags. "I also read that women leak when they're aroused."

He didn’t even look at her as he said it, just let it hang there for a few seconds before twisting out of the car. Ben turned around, leaning in as he gave her a dark grin, eyes dragging down to her chest.

"See you tomorrow, Mrs. Dameron."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi! https://twitter.com/eirene_fics


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REY NO

Rey stared at the clock on her computer screen, imagining the sound of the seconds tick by, drawing her closer to the last bell signaling the end of school.

She had barely been able to think after dropping Ben off at his house, removing her stained top in a huff of sticky disgust before her husband came home.

Neither of them brought it up the next morning before class, or during, or after. But today was the scheduled time for athletes to take their exam; and he was the only one on her list.

The door opened silently, the focus of her thoughts walking through, bag slung over his shoulder. He gave her that wicked smile she had seen in the car after he had suggested she was aroused by him before leaving her abruptly to her thoughts.

He didn't say anything as she looked up at him just walked to the edge of her desk, watching her fingers twitch over the printed test.

"I like that picture of you," he finally said, eyes wandering over to the picture of her and her new daughter, snapped using the timer on her camera app. Rey’s stomach twisted, wondering what he intended to bring up.

"Where's the father?"

She turned her head to look at him, eyes wide with fear, "What do you mean?"

"Most of the teachers have pictures of their families, loved ones, on their desk. Don't you love him?" He seemed intent on her answer, body hunched slightly over the desk as he watched her struggle for an answer. Rey felt pinned, struggling for an answer that didn’t hint at certain things. Incriminate her further.

"I-"

The door opened abruptly and a golden haired girl rushed in, "Am I late? I'm sorry! Oh, Hi Ben."

Rey watched him tense as he took a step away from her, turning slightly towards the newcomer.

"I didn't expect to see you here," the girl continued, oblivious to what she had just interrupted.

"Just a makeup test, Kay," he murmured, staring off at the floor between the two women before moving to slide into the desk right in front of Rey's.

Rey leaned back in her chair, watching with growing interest the way her students stared at each other. Or, more accurately, the way  _ she  _ stared at  _ him.  _ That was certainly a new development as far as Rey knew, and her stomach turned at the thought of what he had been up to while she was out. Not that she cared.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Kaydel's face holding all the tell-tale signs of pining and Ben doing his best to avoid it, taking a pencil out of his bag so slowly Rey was almost certain Kaydel would realize and take offense.

But she didn't and in fact took a step towards the boy before Rey cleared her throat, "Miss Connix, did you need something?"

As if the girl finally realized what she was doing she turned to her teacher, eyes wide, "Oh! I forgot to schedule my make up exam, I'm at the track meet tomorrow too. With Ben."

Rey didn't fail to notice the way his face twitched at the last bit, nor the intense glare the girl was receiving for some reason.

"Well you're a little late and should have told me earlier," Rey said as she spread the test papers idly out on her desk, trying not to look at Ben.

"But," she failed as her eyes flicked up to his briefly, not surprised to find his trained on her face already. "I can make an exception if you're free now."

"Oh yes! Thank you, I knew Ben was doing it now so I hoped-"

"Yes very good Miss Connix," Rey cut her off before she could make a fool out of herself. And make Ben more annoyed. "Take a seat away from Mr. Solo - in the corner, if you would."

It was only proper that they were so far separated from each other, she told herself silently. It had nothing to do with ensuring Ben was free to remain near Rey's desk - and watch her openly.

Kaydel wouldn't notice from the back corner the way his eyes tracked her hands as they moved across papers she graded, but Rey would.

"Lucky I had an extra printed out," her voice was cheerier than expected as she laid it on Kaydel's desk, then Ben's. "You'll have the full fifty minutes to take it, same as in class. Let me know if you need anything."

Neither one did, both of them surprisingly intent on the exam. It was advanced calculus, so Rey wasn't that surprised, but after 25 minutes Kaydel turned hers in with a soft smile and a thank you, trying again to catch Ben's eye.

"I’ll see you at the meet, Ben," she said after clearing her throat.

He smirked at her, stretching his long legs wide in front of the desk, "Sure, Kay."

It was wrong, something felt wrong about their interactions, but as soon as Kaydel shut the door on her way out, that feeling disappeared.

Rey turned back to her papers, studiously ignoring the urge to watch him plug numbers into the calculator.

After ten more minutes, he turned it in, standing again at the end of her desk instead of in front of it like other students.

She thanked him and he crossed his arms, seemingly waiting for something. "So… what was that about?"

Hating that she even asked, was even curious, Rey blushed and tucked a strand of hair back into her ear. But it seemed like that's exactly what he was waiting for and he sat on the corner of her desk, large thigh barely six inches from her hand.

He was always doing things like that, casually draping his body over school furniture and somehow making it look cool. Rey scowled towards him, a silent reproach of his closeness.

"Ah yeah, well," he brushed his hand back through his hair and sighed. "We hooked up. A while ago."

He paused for so long that Rey finally looked up at him, expecting more than that. He grinned, continuing, "She wanted more. It didn't work out."

A breath went out of her, relief that shocked her, relief that  _ he  _ hadn't wanted  _ her. _

"I'm sorry," she found herself saying almost in reflex. "But plenty of time to find a partner you like."

"Oh I know which one I'd like, Mrs. Dameron," the way he dragged her name out made her shiver, yet more reminders of how inappropriate he could be - how inappropriate that she was even  _ reacting  _ or  _ talking  _ to him about this again.

But she was unable to not look at his lips, licking her own subconsciously and clenching as she shifted on the uncomfortable desk chair. He reached out, skimming her arm softly, back and forth in a comforting motion that made her breaths speed up the longer it stretched into the silence.

"Mrs. Dameron-"

"I have to get home, I'll grade yours tonight and let you know," the words rushed out of her as she abruptly stood, ignoring the way his fingers raised with her.

"Of course, I imagine it's time to feed," he said casually, making Rey stop shoving things into her bag and look at him, eyes wide.

"Excuse me?"

"Dinner time. I'm sure your husband is one of  _ those  _ types, expects dinner ready when he gets home and all of that," there was that sharp edge in his voice again, that he used earlier when he brought up the pictures. And Poe.

"If he's even there," she muttered quietly, knowing she sounded bitter - but was more relieved than anything that he wouldn't be. She finished gathering her things, but Ben grabbed the bag from her before she could swing it around her body.

"I'll walk you to your car," he announced unilaterally, making her shiver, but still she nodded.

She kept her eyes peeled for anyone who might see the teacher and student walking through the staff parking lot and wonder what was going on.

And nothing was going on.

He was just a nice  _ boy  _ who insisted on carrying her heavy bag for her. She was grateful, honestly. No one ever took care of her like that.

He didn't say anything else as he handed the bag over to her, but he smiled knowingly when she looked up at him from the driver's seat.

"Here," he thrust a slip of paper towards her and she took it automatically. "I need to know my score asap and since I won't be in class tomorrow - would you text it to me?"

The paper in her hand felt hot and Rey placed it delicately on the dashboard, staring at it as if it would bite her. Why would he do that? He could just check the online portal, but she didn't say anything and eventually he backed away, letting her close the door with a rough pull and drive away without a second glance, paper still taunting her from the dash.

* * *

Later that night, Rey held her baby daughter in her arms, nipples sore from her nightly feed.

_ I imagine it's time to feed. _

Rey rocked back in the wooden chair, eyes closing as she tried to push the memory of Ben's words away. She had realized as she went to feed her daughter what he had meant. And it wasn't about her husband at all.

One hand rested in her lap as the baby gurgled to sleep wrapped in fabric around Rey's body. She flipped her phone over and over in her hand, eyes closed as she tried to convince herself that there was absolutely  _ no  _ need to text Ben.

But in her other hand she held the slip of paper with no words, just his number on it, as if anything else would be incriminating.

And it would be, she thought bitterly. But the way he looked at her made everything seem more alive, more so than she had ever experienced. It had always been that way with them.

The TV that had been disrupting her daughter's attempts to sleep finally shut off and Rey stuffed the piece of paper between her thigh and the edge of the chair. Moments later, Poe appeared in the doorway.

"Going to bed," his voice was gruff and he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"I'll be there soon," she replied, but he just grunted.

"I'll be asleep already."

Rey nods, feelings of both frustration and relief flowing through her. It had been over seven months without sex and if she couldn't have the privacy to enjoy herself, she would bite her lip with him. But her body was still changed, marked by her daughter - probably forever.

When the door to the nursery closed, steady hands grabbed the slip of paper and typed in his number before she could think twice.

_ 94.  
_ _ Guess that's why you got your scholarship _

Within a minute she received a response and her hands shook as she turned her phone over to read it.

_ Had a good teacher _

Rey took a deep breath, pulling her daughter out of the wrap and setting her down in her crib, now sleeping peacefully in the silence.

Slumping back into her nursing chair, Rey shut her eyes for a moment before picking up the phone again. Opening up the text thread, she took a deep breath and responded. Just harmless conversation, something she always craved, but never got outside of school. Never outside of him, really.

Ben was always good about talking to her, all through last year - he was kind and thoughtful, more well-read than most men she knew.

_ I've been back barely a week _

_ You were there for me when it counted, what's 3 months? _

Rey bit her lip, her rough nipples sliding across the silk robe she wore to nurse in, the one luxury item she had saved months for. They were a little sore from her feed, but she knew the hardness was something else. Something only in her mind. Her memories.

_ I missed you so fucking much _

She whimpered at the desperation she sensed in his words, grabbing his gift from the side table and unscrewing the top. Her nightly ritual, fingers dipping into the jar of lotion, rubbing it efficiently into her breasts and nipples. But tonight her eyes closed, imagining larger fingers massaging them, slipping the cream around the nipple teasingly.

Leaning back in the chair, she spread her robe wide, exposing her mostly naked body to the cool air.

_ Did you miss me? _

Rey had no idea how to answer that question. Her arms rested against the chair, lotion cooling on her skin, debating on her answer.

_ I miss you right now. _

She sent it before she could think twice, a hand sliding into her underwear for the first time in days, sucking in a breath as her fingertips brushed against her clit.

_ Oh fuck, what do you mean _

Rey let out a heavy breath as she slid between her lips, feeling how wet she was. When did that happen? Nothing - she had barely been thinking about  _ anything  _ and yet-

Fingers shook as she responded again, unable to deny him an answer, but still unsure. The definition of a tease, she mused as a finger slid inside and she canted her hips up, brushing the heel of her hand against her clit.

_ Thank you for your gift. It's helped. _

She tossed the phone out of reach, out of temptation as her fingers moved inside of her, grinding against her hand as she thought about Ben's fingers. Two would be perfect, she mused as her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, forced to keep quiet in her own home.

But maybe, she moaned softly as she pushed a third inside her, feeling the stretch again - maybe  _ three  _ would be what she needed.

A ragged  _ Oh  _ escaped from her mouth as she convulsed around her fingers at just the thought of him touching her. Her other hand moved, circling her clit with just the edge of pressure as she fucked herself.

She remembered when she was 4 months pregnant and overcome with hormones and horniness and all of her thoughts had zeroed in on her 17 year old student. Long, floppy hair, big nose - luscious lips. But mostly his eyes; the way they watched her, ogled her even as her body grew cumbersome.

Her breasts were sore for another reason now, nipples tight with arousal as she rubbed her clit in time with her thrusts. Her daughter gurgled softly from the crib, reminding her of where she was, but she didn't care. It was private enough, and she needed this.

Her phone pinged numerous times and she bit her lip to resist reading the messages that were surely from him, intent on her orgasm.

She clenched around her fingers, imagining it was his thick cock, her breathing becoming pants as she twisted against her hands.

A loud whine shot from her mouth as the build became too much and she spasmed around her fingers, gripping them and their poor imitation for dick. Rey's heart hammered in her chest as she pulled her fingers out of her underwear, wet with her arousal.

She dragged them up her body, her soft stomach still holding faint stretch marks, between the curve of her breasts, and smiled.

* * *

She ignored the messages that had come through as she masturbated to thoughts of her student, a wave of guilt washing over her as she looked at her baby daughter before returning to the master bedroom.

To the bed she shared with her husband.

Rey  _ tried  _ to feel guilty about that part, but it wasn't as if she had just cheated. Fantasies were just that.

But the messages he had left her were real and she went to bed, vowing to wait until morning.

_ You're really using it?  
_ __ Rubbing it on your tits?  
_ Tell me what you meant  
_ __ I can't stop thinking about you

They had gone silent after a while, nothing new on her phone when she woke up the next morning. It should have relieved her that he got the message, but instead she fed her daughter and got ready for work in a haze.

Around lunch that day, her phone lit up on her desk as she typed in comments for the records system.

_ Won my meet _

She frowned, staring at the little note beneath the words  _ picture attached. _

And yet without any hesitation she unlocked her phone and was met with an unexpected picture of Ben in the school track uniform, arms wrapped around some girl she didn’t recognize, medals hanging off their necks.

Her eyes drifted down his body, taking in the  _ very  _ short shorts, loose around the thick thighs she had thought far too much. A loose fitting tank top, exposing his broad chest and arms. He was a distance runner, wasn't he? And he was 17, what right did he have to be so muscled now.

She set the phone down, unsure how to move forward or respond; silence was the best answer. It was an innocent text, but the  _ act  _ of sending was not innocent.

Not after last night. Not  _ before _ . Not ever, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi! https://twitter.com/eirene_fics


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder about the warnings and tags here folks. please be mindful, we're in rape/dubious consent territory at the end here depending on your personal thresholds for the two.
> 
> also I added a domestic abuse tag. it's relatively minor, and we've all known Poe was a dick, but upon re-reading the last two chapters I decided to add it.
> 
> one more chapter to go!

He didn't show up the next morning before class, leaving Rey unexpectedly relieved. Ben had left her alone and she was mercifully released from her hormones for a night, letting her sleep in peace.

The lunch bell rang and she grabbed her bag, slipping into the small room off of her own where they stored all of their books. She had set up a nice area with a small table and chair inside, no one would bother her here with the door to the store room shut.

She untied her blouse and unsnapped her bra, squeezing her breasts lightly, warming them up as she prepared the pump.

It was only mildly inconvenient to have to pump during the school day, and she had been grateful that she had found the time in between classes to maintain full supply. Rey swabbed lotion around the pumps, trying to ignore again how useful a gift Ben had given her.

Setting the pumps on both breasts, cinching the band around her chest to hold them there, she gasped a little at the initial high speed as it tugged her nipples to draw down her milk.

Leaning back into the chair she closed her eyes to the soft sounds of suction, needing just a little rest before the final few classes of the day.

Barely five minutes later, she heard the door to the supply room open and before she could do anything but sit up, he was there.

Ben was standing there, watching her, body resting between the cracked door and the frame, hiding her from the view of the empty classroom.

She gasped, trying to pull the sides of her unwrapped shirt around the awkward set up, turning her back to him.

"You need to leave,  _ now,"  _ Rey snapped at him, a mixture of embarrassment and something else. He had seen too much of her, the exposed skin of her rounded breasts, her stomach.

But he made no move to leave and instead she heard the door click shut and he stood behind her as she hunched over, the only sound their breathing and the machine that was pulling milk from her unnaturally.

"Does it hurt?"

She laughed at the question, at the audacity, but still answered, "Not really, just uncomfortable."

Rey shifted, holding her shirt as close to her as she could as he looked over her shoulder. His stomach brushed ever so lightly against the back of her head, making her shudder.

"You really have to go, Ben," her voice wavered with lack of conviction.

"Is this what you've been doing during your breaks?" Ben's voice was low, filled with something that made her shudder. It should unnerve her, this feeling, as if he's calculating something in his mind, unraveling a plan.

"I have to do it regularly or my milk dries up," she explained. In a huff, she turned around, glaring up at her student. " _ Leave,  _ Ben. This is inappropriate."

Finally he met her eyes, drawing his own from the curve of her breasts, "Any less appropriate than what you did before?"

Rey inhaled slowly, counting in her head as she tried to come up with an answer. But they both knew what she had done, what she had  _ encouraged. _

"It was a mistake, I should know better," her voice wavered under his stare. He seemed to be thinking, his body drawing up as hers panicked. It had barely been five minutes since he interrupted, but it felt like an hour under the weight of his silences and stares.

Her hands slowly let go of the edges of her shirt, letting it fall open as a hand brushed her collarbone, sliding up the length of her bare neck. Rey squirmed in her seat, but leaned forward, encouraging him silently.

Ben smirked, circling the edge of the suction pump with the tips of his fingers, "The decathlon competition is this weekend."

She blinked at his words, holding in a shuddering breath as he traced the curve underneath her exposed breasts, "W-what?"

"Are you going to come?"

Rey flushed, "I'm not the coach anymore."

"We'll still need chaperones," he murmured, eyes locked on the way her breasts jiggled slightly from the suction, missing the shock on her own face. "Since we're staying overnight. How could you have forgotten?"

"I can't leave my daughter alone overnight," Rey shut her eyes at the memory and weak protest, realizing that her only reason was  _ logistics  _ and nothing about the fact that he was underage  _ and  _ her student. If that was even what he was implying.

"Maybe you can stay the day, I'll drive you home after," it was tempting, but she shook her head. 

The timer on her phone went off, echoing off the shelves of textbooks and supplies, and Ben stepped back, hands dropping away from her skin.

She tried not to miss it, "I have to - take these off now."

Gesturing weakly to the suction cups attached to her as she turned off the machine. Without a word, Ben reached out and untied the strap that kept them hooked to her, pulling them off and watching raptly as droplets of milk leaked onto her skin.

"Ben," she whispered. "Please leave."

He didn't seem to hear her as he dropped the device onto the table and let his finger brush against her aching nipple, gathering a bit of the liquid. Rey watched as he smeared the milk across her erect nipples and gently sucked his finger clean, eyes locked onto hers as a small sucking sound escaped. She shuddered, leaning back into the chair as she watched, breasts exposed.

"Come to the competition, Mrs. Dameron," was all he said before he turned and left the room, leaving her in a confused state of arousal with only 10 minutes left until class.

With shaking hands, she dried off her breasts and applied the nipple cream before tying her shirt back up, trying not to think about the way his lips had looked as he had them wrapped around his finger.

* * *

She was late, almost ten minutes after they were supposed to arrive to load the bus, warring with herself the entire morning. Fumbling excuses to her husband who begrudgingly agreed to watch their daughter for the day.

_ It was good to have another coach around,  _ she told herself as she climbed onto the ancient bus, eyes scanning for a set of dark hair.

It had nothing to do with the quiet command he had left her with in that closet four days ago, the taste of her milk on his lips as he spoke.

"Alright we're ready to go," Ms. Penny, the replacement decathlon teacher, turned to tell the bus driver.

"Wait," Rey found herself speaking up. "I thought Ben Solo was still on the team?"

"Oh he is," she explained breezily. "He's just driving himself. Teenagers, once they get the opportunity to drive themselves it's all a wash."

Rey felt an odd sense of anger bubble up as she took her phone out, punching out a message.

_ Why aren't you here? _

She sighed at how needy that sounded, but the disappointment couldn't be stopped. Now she was stuck on a bus for two hours and as much as she had missed her team, she had been expecting something different.

_ Taking the charger, how else would we get home? _

Rey's eyes grew wide and she licked her lips.

_ You're taking me home? _

_ I’ll take you wherever you want _

The open ended answer had her shoving the phone deep into her bag, unable to respond to the blatant invitation.

* * *

The competition was quiet, as expected of a bunch of teenagers taking tests on a rotation of subjects, but she  _ had  _ missed this. Being with her team and coaching them in between sessions.

A sick part of her was also eternally grateful that as she looked around at the teams from other schools, and her own, Ben was the only one who made her heart flutter.

There was nothing wrong with her, she told herself as he smiled at her across the table.  _ Absolutely nothing.  _ It was just Ben Solo that got to her.

They won, of course they did, the scoring taking longer than usual. It was almost 7pm when the winners were announced, meaning she would be home well after 10pm, making her regret not staying overnight with the rest of them.

She overheard Ben telling Ms. Penny that he had to leave early and would just drive home and Rey's stomach fluttered. It was now or never, she told herself as he glanced over at her, grabbing his bag before saying goodbye to the team and breezing out the door of the school cafeteria.

"Guess you're leaving now, huh?" The new coach's voice made her turn, alarmed at the timing. What did she know? But there was nothing in her body language or soft smile that gave anything away. Simply kindness. "I know you have to get home to your baby, thank you for coming. The team really missed you."

Rey smiled softly and thanked her before escaping the same direction as Ben.

He was there leaning against his car as she walked out, his face emotionless as she walked towards him.

Was she doing this? What even were they doing? It was a long drive and he must be exhausted. The kids were allowed their own room, same as the teachers if she remembered. And she did.

But there were no circles under his eyes as she got close enough to see. Another small reminder of his age.

Without a word, he pushed off the car and opened the door for her, staring blankly as she made her decision.

The door slammed shut and she shuddered, the finality overwhelming.

He slid in, throwing his bag in the back before taking off out of the school’s lot, engine humming pleasantly beneath her.

Half an hour into the drive home his hand moved to rest on her thigh, fingers gripping them just hard enough for her to know it was intentional.

Every so often she would shift around and his grip moved higher, fingers brushing up into the apex of her thighs underneath her dress.

Normally she needed something to keep her occupied on long drives, music at least, but the paralyzing touch and thoughts of what might happen kept her mind racing. She sat frozen next to him, but he didn’t seem to be concerned.

Without a word he eventually pulled off the road into a wooded area, his hand leaving her thigh to throw the car into park.

Her heart raced as he turned his body to face hers, refusing to look at him.

"Rey," she took in a shaky breath at the sound of her name on his lips. He leaned over, lips finally touching her skin as he kissed her exposed neck. "There's no need to be scared."

"I'm not afraid," she whispered as he made his way up, tongue tracing her ear.

She felt him smirk as his hand moved under her shirt, tracing the edges of her bra.

"Look at me," he commanded, an edge to it she didn't know what to do with. But she complied and the way he stared at her made her weak again.

She parted her lips and leaned towards him. Ben took the cue and made a soft noise before pressing his lips into hers.

They stayed there for minutes, tracing lips and tongue as his fingers squeezed her breasts through her bra methodically.

Rey gasped and pulled away, "No, don't do that, it-"

"Shh," he silenced her, resuming his movements, making her squirm at the unexpected mixture of feelings.

He knew what he was doing she realized, feeling her milk begin to draw down.

"Ben," she stuttered as his name escaped her and he abruptly pulled away to stare at her chest.

Without a word he got out of the car, moving to her side and opening the door, "Get in the backseat."

Rey hesitated, but one look at his face made her swallow and nod.

She backed up against the door and watched as he crawled towards her, the intensity making her shudder. Gone was the slightly awkward teenager, this time  _ he  _ seemed intent on  _ her _ .

He resumed kissing her, tongue pushing through to stroke her own. Unable to stop it, a moan escaped her as she felt her breasts twitch.

As if he knew, he drew back at that moment, tugging her shirt off of her. Ben barely spared any time taking her in before he found the clasp in front of her bra.

"How did you-" she was shocked into silence as his mouth wrapped around a swollen breast. "No, Ben, it's going to-"

"Shut up, Mrs. Dameron," he growled and sucked hard on her nipple, body awkwardly hunched over hers. She moaned at the unexpected pleasure of his mouth on hers, so different. It had been so long. Her body slid lower under the weight of his attention.

And then, before she could pull him off of her, she felt the tell-tale sign and whined, "No! Oh my god."

Ben groaned as the first trickle of milk hit his mouth as he pulled harder against her nipple. Surprised at his reaction, Rey grabbed his hair, pulling and pushing him closer against her as he drank. He pulled away briefly, dragging her body lower until her back hit the seat and he hovered over her.

Milk leaked out of her exposed breasts, running down her chest. His eyes were wild as he looked at her and she swallowed at the crazed expression.

"Ben," she whispered, fingers curling through the hair at the base of his neck. He blinked at his name and she pulled him back onto her chest, his lips finding her nipple, teeth grazing as he sucked hard.

His hand moved to her other breast, kneading it, and Rey knew now what he was doing. He was preparing it. What had been in those books he had read?

Body pressed against hers, Rey moved her leg up and around his waist, hips bucking into him with one particularly vicious suck.

The soft gurgling sound made her shiver, only ever associating it with her daughter, but Ben was hardly a baby. The hard length pressing between her legs was proof that he was certainly not that. She tried not to think about it, her eyes closing as he rhythmically ground into her with each draw of milk, his tongue massaging the nipple in a way that made her head spin.

Ben pulled off of one breast and moved to the other, groaning as a fresh stream of milk met his lips. Rey felt his hands move to his waist, unbuttoning his jeans and she blanked, "No - Ben don't."

He stopped and looked up at her, pupils blown wide, lips wrapped around her nipple, milk gathering around the edges. It was a disgusting scenario, she tried to tell herself. Wrong, even.

But he picked up again, watching her as he sucked and her eyes almost rolled back into her head. She barely noticed the way his hands moved, releasing his cock from the confines of his jeans. The way they pushed her dress up, skimming along her bare thighs.

His fingers slid underneath the fabric of her underwear and she moaned as the air hit her wet cunt, tips teasing the edges. Ben took a hard suck before popping off of her tit and moving up to kiss her, "So ready for me, Mrs. Dameron."

She should be disgusted, tasting the remnants of her milk as he kissed her, sucking lightly on his tongue as his fingers teased her clit, circling. But she wasn’t and Rey moved her hips into his strokes, encouraging him silently as she dove deeper into the darkness, kissing her seventeen year old student.

He wasn't that young, she mused. Experienced. He had wanted her from the beginning, she could admit that now as he moved to suck her neck.

"Can't," she gasped. "Leave a mark."

Ben growled, ripping her underwear down her thighs in response, shifting until she could feel his hard cock pressing against her entrance.

"Ben, no!" Rey pushed against his chest, alarmed. She hadn't even realized he had pulled his dick out, but she had been so drunk off his lips around her breasts. "We can't, it's too-"

He wasn't listening to her, sucking hard against her neck as he dragged the tip of his cock along her entrance, groaning at the arousal there.

"But you're so ready for me. Come on, just the tip," he mumbled against her mouth as he pushed the tip of his cock inside her.

Her eyes went wide as she realized again how big he was, but she pushed hard against his chest, "I said no!"

"Fuck, you little tease," he growled, pushing further inside as he resumed sucking her breast, pulling a nipple between his teeth. “Playing hard to get.”

"I mean it, Ben," she felt tears in her eyes as her voice wavered, terrified about what might happen if someone found them like that. Found  _ out.  _ What she was doing with him.

"Hmm," he hummed against her skin and gripped her hip in one large hand before thrusting all the way in. She let out a hard whimper at the size, even after giving birth it was almost too much.

"Ben," her voice was weak as he began to fuck her, hand pressing hard into her hips, barely listening to her. "Please"

He pulled away from her tit to stare at her, "You don't want this?"

Rey was paralyzed by the look he gave her as a hand moved to circle her clit, making her gasp. "I think you do want it, you're just scared."

She shook her head and pushed against him even as her hips moved up into his thrusts, but it felt so good she could barely think straight. He fell quiet again, eyes watching her breasts jostle with his thrusts.

He didn't have a lot of room for this, but he made do, panting as he pinched and rubbed her clit in time with his thrusts.

"Oh fuck," he whispered as her walls began to pulse and clench around him, the pleasure building low as she ground into him, chasing her orgasm. Ben took her nipple in his mouth again, sucking more milk from it and Rey couldn't stop the visceral reaction that hit her.

She let out a high whine, terrified that she was clenching around his cock from such a thing, the orgasm ripping through her. He continued sucking until her body seemed to slacken in his grip and he pulled away, watching her face as he fucked her earnestly, on the edge of coming.

"Say you want it," he panted, staring down at her bliss.

"What?" She was almost drowsy from the movements, her body used in unexpected ways. It had been  _ so  _ long.

"Say you want me to come inside you," he gritted.

And then she realized again what was going on, a jolt of reality as he fucked her and she shook her head.

"Please, please, please," she begged, not entirely sure what she wanted, but he seemed to take it as encouragement and he groaned. He fucked her a few more times before he came inside, the spurt of liquid making her stomach flutter. "Oh god,  _ Ben _ ."

"Mmm," he kissed between her breasts and up her neck as he lazily stroked a few more times before finally pulling out. Rey felt his cum slide slowly between her thighs and she bit back a sob.

"What have I done?" She whispered, horrified.

"You took what you wanted," he said quietly, lips against her ear. "And so did I."

Rey shivered at the sound of his voice, but he didn't give her much time to process it as he opened the door and dragged her out. He smoothed her skirt down and brushed her hair back before guiding her back into the passenger seat.

"I'll take you home now," was all he said as he clicked her seatbelt into place for her, somehow knowing she wasn't fully capable of it at that moment.

* * *

She stumbled into her house, tired from the day, emotionally and physically raw.

"You're late," Poe's voice hit her hard, expecting him to be asleep. "You said you would be back hours ago."

"They took longer than expected to score everything," her voice was exasperated and he drew up in indignation.

"You left me to care for our three month old daughter while you were out with your friends!"

Rey gaped at him, "It's for work! They're not my friends, they're my team - my  _ students _ ."

"You didn't have to go, you don't do that anymore," he had a point, but her guilt was barely on the list of things to be concerned with right then.

"Oh forgive me for making you spend time with your DAUGHTER," she seethed. "It's not like I'm not the one doing it every day and spending all night with her while  _ you  _ sleep."

She pushed past him to check on her daughter, but he shoved her into the wall.

"Don't fucking talk to me like that, woman."

Rey's eyes were wet with tears from the overwhelming sense of frustration and overload. She never even loved Poe, but he was supposed to be the  _ safe choice _ .

"Let me check on our daughter," her voice wavered. "Please."

The way she begged was so different than mere hours ago with Ben, in his car. She shivered as Poe stepped to the side, glaring at her as she passed.

* * *

As she stepped out of the shower later that night, washing Ben's come off of her skin and eyeing the red marks cautiously, she heard her phone chime.

_ I'll see you after school Monday _

A picture of her discarded underwear wrapped around his cock accompanied the message. It shouldn't, but her body shivered with pleasure at the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy friday, next chapter tomorrow maybe? or sunday.
> 
> come say hi! https://twitter.com/eirene_fics


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well here we are. I'm nervous. Enjoy!

"Oh, what a good boy. God, Ben," she cupped his head against her chest as he sucked hard, pulling milk from her breasts in long takes.

They were always full now, waiting for him after school in the supply room.

Rey convinced herself that what happened there existed out of time, pulling on Ben's hair as he bit into the side of her breasts.

He loved to mark her no matter how hard she begged him not to, but she was too weak to get him to stop. Drunk on his attention and their connection.

She straddled his lap, both still clothed for the most part as he suckled her. Rey enjoyed the nurturing feeling and ground against his clothed cock as he drank from her tits.

They hadn't fucked since that weekend, but she always came like this so she was more sated than she had been in a year.

"Come to my place tomorrow," he murmured against her chest after she came down from her orgasm. He was still hard between her.

"What?" She asked incredulously.

"I want to fuck you in my bed, Mrs. Dameron."

Rey huffed at the ridiculous request, but his eyes darkened and she swallowed her rejection.

He didn't seem to understand that they couldn't take those chances, not while he was underage.

And her student.

But she couldn't ever seem to truly say no to him and so she agreed with a smile.

* * *

The next afternoon both cars pulled in front of the large house tucked behind the gates and wooded area, away from prying eyes. Rey recalled the moment she had dropped him off here weeks prior and could only feel a hint of disgust at herself for where she was now.

She watched as her student emerged from his car, long, strong limbs slightly awkward. In that state of being  _ almost  _ fully grown. A man.

He walked over to her car and opened the door for her, a shy smile in place.

"Come on, I want to show you my room," he seemed nervous and Rey couldn't ever keep up with the way his intensity shifted moment to moment.

No, she felt no disgust at this, she reminded herself as she took his hand and followed him inside.

His room made her immediately uncomfortable, screaming teenage boy as her eyes took in the triple monitor computer, large tv, smattering of posters, and an unmade bed.

But then he turned to her and looked anything  _ but  _ a teenage boy as he leaned down to kiss her, tongue insistent against her lips. Rey pushed to the tips of her feet, hands sliding through his hair to hold him closer to her.

This was nice, different, she thought as he walked her towards the bed, hands hard on her waist to make sure she didn't trip.

He untied her dress without another word, unwrapping and sliding it down to the floor before her bra and panties followed.

"On the bed," he instructed softly, making her huff a little. "Please."

She smiled at that and did what he said as he knelt between her legs, hands sliding up her thighs, pushing them apart. He watched her every second, waiting for something.

Like the other times, once they got to this point - as he looked at her so desperately - she felt unlocked. Her needs were finally center stage and they were his, too, somehow. It was a heady feeling and her chest rose under his stare, heavy with milk in anticipation.

But she wanted something first.

"You want to make me happy, Ben?" Her voice was breathy as he nodded eagerly, fingers digging into her thighs.

"Then lick my pussy," she answered as she spread herself with her fingers. In more inappropriate conversations he had mentioned never going down on a girl and Rey had been nearly dizzy with the prospect of teaching him a new skill.

If he was hesitant, he certainly didn't show it, leaning down to kiss both inner thighs before dragging his tongue between her open cunt. The tip of it dipped in as he did and she jumped a little at the unexpected touch, giving him a weak smile as he looked at her to see if she was ok.

"Make it good, Ben. I know you can," she whispered as she leaned back onto his pillows, moving her hands away to toy with her breasts.

Her breath caught as he licked and sucked; his tongue was sloppy, but his strokes were eager. The idea that she was the first woman he would do this to made her head spin.

"Oh, good boy," her hand pulled his head harder as he wrapped his lips around her clit, pressing tight circles around it just like he did every time he fed from her. She moaned and hooked her leg around his shoulder to egg him on. "Good, good, just like that."

His eagerness made up for any lack of finesse and Rey knew she could mold him, teach him to be exactly what she needed. But for now she wanted him to use her body to explore.

Ben moved a hand up, pushing a finger inside of her with no ceremony, grunting as she pulled his hair roughly at it. He sucked her lips as he thrust his finger, curling up as if he knew something he shouldn't, begging her to come.

"Fuck, do that again," she panted and he did, adding another finger and pulling away slightly to watch her twist on his hand.

He licked and sucked, grazing his teeth against her clit, pressing into it insistently until her legs wrapped around his face and she came hard, body bowed off of the bed.

"Ben," she was weak as her legs slowly dropped away from him, hands going limp as she stared at the ceiling of his bedroom. "Thank you."

He didn't respond, sliding off the bed and from the corner of her eye she saw him rid himself of his clothes before laying on top of her, weight pressed so hard she had trouble breathing.

Rey pulled her breath up towards her neck instead of out, trying to deal with his weight, but he didn't seem to notice. Ben kissed her then, giving her no time to breathe as his teeth pulled at her lip, arms sliding underneath her neck. His tongue traced the outline of her mouth before tentatively touching hers, a slow build different from any kisses before.

He shifted his body to slot between hers, his hard cock resting between their stomachs. When her legs parted again, wrapping around his waist she felt his breathing stutter. Pulling away from her lips, he pressed soft kisses down her jaw and into the hollow of her throat.

"I've dreamed about this for so long," he muttered, the edge of desperation catching his voice. She didn't respond, hand simply sliding up his back and into his hair, stroking it gently. Nurturing. "Ever since that night."

He leaned into her touch as he gripped his dick and settled it between her legs, looking up at her as he pushed every inch into her, eyes blowing wider with each one.

His hands moved to grab her head, covering both sides and holding it there as he watched her, as he bottomed out, digging deeper the higher she moved her legs.

A guttural moan hit them both as he began to fuck her, weight heavy against her still as his hips moved and snapped into her. The pace was faster than she had ever experienced and she held on, hips grinding as he pressed into her. She couldn't look anywhere but him, the crazed look on his face, his open mouth as he fucked her.

He kept up that pace for so long she thought she might die of asphyxiation, but the fire built inside her. He did race long distance in track, a flitting thought hit her as he buried his face into her neck, the pace remaining brutal for far longer than she ever expected..

"You're doing so well, Ben, just a little harder," he seemed to know exactly what Rey needed and shuddered at the praise.

He pulled off of her, hands gripping her waist before pulling her into his thrust, feeling the way she twitched involuntarily as he roughly pushed against her cervix.

Rey wailed in pleasure at it, the pain blunted by the way he moved against her clit, the look of adoration on his face.

"Just a little bit more, Ben, come on," his muscled chest was shining with sweat from exertion, but he gave her what she needed as he always did.

Her body began to jolt and squeeze him and he leaned over, burying his face into her neck as he fucked her through the orgasm.

"Oh fuck, Mrs. Dameron," he growled into her skin as his hips snapped and ground against her clit, making her squeeze around him even tighter. A few more and he went rigid, cum shooting into her womb again, making her drown in pleasure.

"You can call me Rey now, I think," her voice was breathy, words unclear, but he seemed to get the meaning and he pulled away, smirking before kissing her neck lazily.

They laid there for long minutes before he pulled away, eyes going wide as he realized her chest was wet with milk.

He didn't bother pulling out, still sliding into her as he watched, mesmerized, at the liquid coming out of her breasts.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry," she couldn't believe it. "I know it's disgusting-"

Rey was still so used to her husband finding everything about it disgusting that she was still surprised when she was cut off as Ben dipped his tongue down the edge and licked a trail up to her nipple, cleaning off the excess drops as his hands moved underneath her back, pulling her tits closer to him. 

He nursed her, sucking her milk-filled breasts, and her eyes widened as she felt him get harder again inside of her.

Pushing against him, she murmured, "Let's do it the other way this time."

He acquiesced, rolling her on top of him as he settled back on the bed, still biting and sucking her breasts as he drank from her.

"That feels amazing, Ben," his eyes were heavy with pleasure as she brushed some of his hair off his face. "Keep drinking, you need your strength."

Her legs spread on either side of his body and she began moving her hips in a slow rhythm, sliding along his cock as he sucked at her tits. Her hands rested on either side of his head, hovering over him as she rode him, remembering bits and pieces from before and moaning.

"Ben," she gasped. "Touch me."

He moved to her other breast, milk dripping down onto his chest it was so overflowing, before moving a hand between them and touching her clit.

It should be sore, sensitive, but Rey ground against it in a heavy rhythm, twisting down onto him as he thrust his own hips into her.

"Good, good," her eyes closed as she gave herself over to the myriad of feelings. His cock deep inside her, his hand on her clit, and his mouth sucking her breast like a child.

She clenched at the last thought, her orgasm hitting her unexpectedly. Ben bit down on her tit as he came, fingers still circling her clit as she rode out the aftershocks.

"Was it better this time?" he asked eventually as she pulled herself off of him and collapsed onto the bed.

"Oh yes," she whispered. "Better every time."

* * *

That became routine, shifting the supply closet at school for his bedroom. She never asked where his parents were and he never offered an explanation other than they were in DC a lot and would only be coming back for graduation. In a month.

She could only spend a few hours at time before she had to get home to take care of her daughter, but it was enough for now. He could never get enough of her, touching her until she was locked away in her car. It was a heady experience and one day she walked into her house with a dreamy look still on her face and Poe was there.

"Where have you been?" He was angry and she could barely think straight, her cunt was still molded to fit Ben's cock and she couldn't stop thinking about it.

"At school, you know I have after school tutoring the end of term," she answered as she tried to push past him.

But he grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her, making her cry out. She had forgotten what kind of man she was married to for a brief second.

"Those are marks on your neck, who you been fucking, huh?"

Rey shook her head, denying it, "No one."

He shoved her to the ground, enraged, "I knew you were a no good slut, but I thought I had you handled. Guess not."

She stumbled back towards the nursery, needing to get to her daughter. Rey picked her up, swaddling her in a blanket near her chest. It would be time to feed soon, but she wasn't sure if Poe would allow it.

"I bet that bitch child isn't even mine, is it?" Rey looked at him, alarmed.

"What? Of course it is," her voice was shaky.

"We weren't even  _ fucking  _ when they said it was conceived," she closed her eyes as he finally began to put things together. "You know I never believe those docs, but this time - they were  _ right _ . Who was it?"

"It's not important," she tried to mollify him until they could get out of there. "Just let us go, please."

"Yeah, sure, run off to some fucking sissy boy who thinks you're a good fuck for some reason. You'll regret that. He’ll learn better," but he left, taking his keys and slamming the door, leaving her alone to her tears.

* * *

Rey had barely left the car when the door to Ben's house opened and he raced down, hands checking her arms and neck before kissing her softly.

"You're alright? I could kill him." His tone made her still, almost contemplate it, before pulling away slightly to close the door.

"Fine, just want to get inside." He moved to grab their bags from the trunk as she pulled her daughter out of the car seat.

She had nowhere else to go and Ben all but demanded she stay there with him. Rey bit her lip as he set her bags in his closet, assuming she would stay with him in his room and not one of their guest rooms.

And she would.

"Come here," he reached out for her baby, taking her in his arms. "Daddy's got you."

Rey looked at him, alarmed, and he returned her stare, a dark knowing look in his face. He knew, she thought as she swallowed. Did he know this whole time?

"Ben, I can explain-"

"It's alright. You're here now, Rey. You came back to me," he kissed her daughter's cheek before setting her on the pallet of blankets he had made beside his bed.

"We're a family," he continued as he took their clothes off, Rey felt like nothing more than a willing doll in that moment. She wanted this, loved him. But it was wrong to be here, he was seventeen.

But as Ben pushed her stomach into the bed, pulling her up on all fours, she found she didn't mind. They had sex mere hours ago, but she was ready again, her cunt wet with the remnants of his cum and her arousal.

"I love you, Rey," he said as he slides into her, bending over her back to kiss her on the cheek.

And she thinks maybe they're a little too obsessed with each other, but as he fucked her earnestly from behind in his bed, their daughter sleeping on the floor nearby, she thinks at least he loves her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot tell you how much I want to hear your thoughts! Let me know below.
> 
> I'm working on another fic, shorter (probably), most likely a one-shot. So look out for that if you like my others!
> 
> and come say hi! https://twitter.com/eirene_fics
> 
> And seriously - SERIOUSLY - thank you all for reading and commenting. The engagement has been incredible and I am really grateful. Also thank you to Mal who suggested that the gift I wanted her to get from him was nipple cream. Truly inspired, that's why she's the best. And thank you to the discord writers for having so many sprints that enabled this to be finished so fast!


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